


Power of Humanity

by RiKuEersa



Category: Code Geass, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: Crossover, Dark Era (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dark Era Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai-Typical Suicide References (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dead Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Other, Port Mafia (Bungou Stray Dogs), Port Mafia Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27514393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiKuEersa/pseuds/RiKuEersa
Summary: Dull umber eyes stared listlessly around the dark alley. A spent gun was gripped in a bandaged hand and a pile of corpses at his feet. Life was dull, empty, and colorless. Faded memories of brilliant green eyes, a warm smile, fiery red hair, and a woman with green hair flashed in his head, drowning out the dark pit of nothingness in his chest. He turned on his heels and slipped back into the shadows of Yokohama. He couldn’t even muster up the feeling of hatred or bitter resentment that had sustained him for so long. If you had asked him a lifetime ago, he would have laughed if someone had asked if he believed in reincarnation. But, after dying over and over again and living countless lives like a million people, nothing became impossible.He had gone by many names, thousands of identities that they all blurred into each other. He still thought of himself as Lelouch, but even that had become meaningless. The color had drained out of the world, and all he wanted to do was close his eyes and be with his loved ones in the World of C. Instead, he was putting all of his hopes of a peaceful death in the hands of one Mori Ougai. Perhaps this time, he would finally die for real.
Relationships: Dazai Osamu & Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 70
Collections: Identity Crisis





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

Dull umber eyes stared listlessly around the dark alley. A spent gun was gripped in a bandaged hand and a pile of corpses at his feet. Life was dull, empty, and colorless. Faded memories of brilliant green eyes, a warm smile, fiery red hair, and a woman with green hair flashed in his head, drowning out the dark pit of nothingness in his chest. He turned on his heels and slipped back into the shadows of Yokohama. He couldn’t even muster up the feeling of hatred or bitter resentment that had sustained him for so long. If you had asked him a lifetime ago if he believed in reincarnation, he would have laughed. But, after dying over and over again and living countless lives like a million people, nothing became impossible.

A dark smile crossed his lips as his single eye flashed a menacing dark red. Everything he had ever held dear was already lost. His sister, his knight, his queen, his witch. What was the use of living if there was nothing to live for, nothing to protect? He was a demon with a lifetime and universe full of sin and blood. He had stained his hands with blood over and over until there was nothing left of himself. He had taken up the mantle of the demon over and over. He killed without remorse or hesitation, and all it amounted to was worlds of pain and suffering. The peace he forged through his own will and ability to bend reality to his wishes amounted to temporary paradise. Human greed and hatred always broke the gentle world into a million pieces. And yet, he always picked up the pieces and remodeled the world anew.

The face of the demon who destroyed the world and remade it anew always changed. It never remained the same. The people who stood by him were ephemeral and fleeting. Even his witch had eventually turned to ash. He finally understood why C.C. was always so apathetic. He had lived so many lives, met so many people, and yet, only he remained. He had died, and when he had opened his eyes at age six again. Only, he had a code branded on his neck and geass in both eyes. He ignored the guards as he slipped past them into the tall foreboding building of Port Mafia. Half-lidded eyes took in the details around him, and his mind came up with over a dozen ways to enter and exit unseen and unheard.

His code was defective for what he could understand. Unlike C.C or V.V., his code did not freeze his biological clock but rather froze his soul. Locking what made him Lelouch vi Britannia the Demon Emperor in a never-ending cycle of purgatory. It was a bastardized version of what a code should be. His body aged and died as time marched on, but nothing else could kill him. Bullets, blades, fire, poison, drowning, everything else but the natural biological process of aging would find him still alive, unable to die. When he did manage to die of old age, he would open his eyes again at age six. His appearance was never the same. Sometimes he was female. Sometimes he was male. He had been tall, short, blonde, raven-haired, and everything in between. The only things that had been constant were his code mark on his neck and the manifestation of his geass. He rarely used it. Instead, he zealously kept it hidden. A reminder of happier days and bright smiles. Instead, he had explored the boundaries of his code, finding that the nullification ability of his code extended to all powers as they originated from the World of C.

“How amusing,” He murmured. A small spark of mirth lit his eyes as the shadows of geass a muted flashed in his lone visible eye behind dark brown contacts. He had power almost identical to his Knight of Orange in his first life. The man’s face was blurred with time and distance, but the feeling of his zealous devotion and his geass canceling power stood out vividly in his mind. He missed him dearly.

He knocked on the door in front of him as he announced his presence in a bored tone. He found more often than not. He was channeling C.C. with hints of his own brutality and cruelty thrown in when he had crafted this specific persona. It was a way to amuse himself as he floated from one life to another. Every life was different. Sometimes he channeled V.V. and let the world burn in its own self-delusions. Other times he was the hero with a rigid code of honor like Suzaku and Kallen. Other times, he was apathetic and sociopathic as C.C. and his first mother, Marianna vi Britannia nee Lamperouge. It became trying at times, and he often tried to find ways to kill himself to stave off the boredom and chilling numbness. If this were his punishment for all the lives he had ended and snuffed out over a multitude of lifetimes, he would accept it. He would accept this never-ending hell with the same weight his Knight of Zero had accepted his geass from a man known as the Demon Emperor.

Effortlessly, he slipped into the room where his current contractor sat working on various documents for the Boss. The man was interesting and reminded him of a combination of Schneizel and Suzaku. In this life, he was the son of the Boss of Port Mafia, and Mori had been his and the Boss’ personal doctor. Lelouch still remembered how he met the violet-eyed man. He had just woken up at age six again after this body had died when an assassin had managed to shove a nine-inch military-grade combat knife into his chest. Apparently, his father had stormed into the room after he had screamed, shot his child’s murder to death before having a mental breakdown when he found his six-year-old son dead with a knife in his chest. The man had then ripped the knife from his chest and tried to revive him. It was then his code flared up and sealed his wounds up, leaving behind the geass symbol on the hollow of his throat. That had spelled the beginning of the end for the ruthless but loving man.

He had become obsessed with protecting Lelouch, and insanity had ruled his every action. Obsessive nature and zealous devotion to his son had twisted his love for his son and warped him beyond recognition. He had tried exerting the limited amount of control he had on his current parent in an attempt at keeping the man from burning Yokohama to the ground. But he knew it was only a stopgap as he was able to slow the deterioration of his Father’s mental degeneration. He was a fabulous actor. He was able to use his Father’s progressively more abusive and down-right torturous inclinations to justify his normal apathetic and cold disregard for life and humans in general. It was how he met Hirotsu and Kouyou. He would use his code to keep his father asleep and slip out of the Port Mafia Headquarters to visit the pair. What had started as a passing interest in the two soon sparked a muted fondness as he learned to appreciate their company genuinely. They had soon become small sparks of light in his long-dead heart.

When he was ten, Lelouch was introduced to Mori Ougai after the man had caught him after one of his suicide attempts. The man had been fascinated by him, and Lelouch had been just as intrigued. He had been the first real challenge to his intellect that he had had in hundreds of years. It hadn’t taken him long to determine the man had found out about his power to nullify other Abilities as well as his regeneration. When the man had combed his fingers through his messy brown locks, his code had flared briefly as Lelouch had felt the pull of geass for the first time in years. He had latched onto the sensation and dragged both of them into the World of C to initiate the first contract he had made in this life. Mori had been surprised at first, but like Lelouch himself the first time he met C.C., the violet eyed man had accepted the contract between the two of them.

When time restarted for the two of them, they had quickly learned that Mori’s geass allowed him to manipulate the priorities in one’s heart as he geassed two of his Port Mafia guards who had accompanied Lelouch. This had pleased the man to no end as it allowed him to instantly know what others valued the most and what they viewed as their purpose in life. His new contractor had asked his name, and for the life of him, Lelouch couldn’t actually remember what his supposed father called him. He had simply shrugged his shoulders and replied he forgot, and it was whatever the Boss of Port Mafia had put on his birth certificate. To say Mori was surprised, Lelouch was his Boss’ child was putting it mildly. Luckily, the man was logical, and they had found out, Officially, his name was Tsushima Shuuji, but among all of the Port Mafia legal papers, his name was Dazai Osamu. What other people called him mattered little to him, and he told Mori as such. They had settled on Dazai Osamu, seeing as having a legal hidden backup identity was useful.

Lelouch snapped out of his silent mussing and glided up to Mori Ougai. He draped himself over the man’s shoulders and nuzzled his face into the man’s neck. This life was interesting, to say the least. Of all the people he could have ended up with, it had to be the one person who mirrored his first life quite neatly. Both of them fought for a throne made of blood, darkness, and corruption from a man bend on leading their kingdoms into fire and destruction. Both of them were cold, logical, brutal, and cruel when needed as they clawed their way to the top. Lelouch only allowed himself to indulge in human contact with two people, Mori and Odasaku.

“Dazai-kun,” Mori greeted. Amusement dripped from his voice as he skillfully ignored Lelouch’s antics. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Father’s advisor and my newest caretakers are dead,” Lelouch retorted as he untangled himself from Mori and dramatically flung himself across the man’s desk. “I do hope you are ready to act soon. The city is starting to unravel at the seams. He’s gotten more unhinged.”

Mori’s eyes darkened as he regarded Lelouch’s impassive face from where he leaned against the man’s desk. A smirk made its way to the older man’s face as he dragged Lelouch onto his lap with a hum before breathing into his ear, “It’s your birthday today, isn’t it?”

Lelouch frowned, “don’t tell me you got me a present, Mori-sensei?”

“Perhaps, but I thought it would be a good night to show you the beauty of a Blood Moon.”

Lelouch gave a slow blink before dramatically sighing as he went limp in his contractor’s grip, “you better not die. You still need to fulfill your end of the contract.”

Mori’s breath fanned the shell of his ear as he breathed, “are you ever going to tell me what it is? Or am I to keep guessing?”

Lelouch favored him with a dull, flat look before hopping off the man’s lap and moving towards the door. “Tell me, Mori-sensei, what it is the point of living if it only prolongs suffering?”

Lelouch left without glancing back. He had lived too long and experienced the very best and worst humanity had to offer. He had lost his purpose in life, only yearning for things long gone and times long past. His favorite lives had been the ones that closest resembled his first life where he had Nunally, Suzaku, C.C., Milly, Shirley, and his Black Knights. But the last time he had seen them had been hundreds of years ago. This was the closest thing he had come to in years that was interesting. It seemed his role this time was to be similar to C.C. Idly. He wondered if he would be running away like her at some point too. Would Mori be like Charles, Marianna, or V.V., or would he be Schniziel or Zero?

He closed his eyes as he connected to what remained of the World of C and the collective unconsciousness. He always wondered why geass existed and what the code was. Over a lifetime, he had collected everything he could, every scrap of information about geass and the code. He had even met the Dimensional Supervisor asking why he was different than the other code bearers. The answer had been dissatisfying, to say the least. Apparently, across universes, his geass was the only one that was different and the same. In every life as Lelouch vi Britannia, he was destined to be the Demon Emperor and bearer of a code.

The Supervisor had said they were paying back a debt, fusing him with other versions of himself across time and space as he collected the remnants of geass and the code into one. Now, he was the only one left except for some remnants of geass coded into a small percentage of humanity. In a fit of boredom, he had crafted an item called the Book with a fragment of his code that would allow a person access to a Thought Elevator and the ability to live in their dream world. It was an elaborate trap to collect the rest of the active geass fragments. But, with its task done, he simply guarded the Book. His ultimate wish was to finish collecting geass and to eradicate it from the world.

Lelouch slipped silently back into the main compound where his ‘Father’ was resting. No one bothered him as he had them all firmly under his geass of Absolute Obedience. It never failed to amuse him that he was both able to cancel out geass and thus ability users and utilize geass. To keep an Ace in his sleeves, he only used his nullification ability granted to him by the code he carried. He knew the man who was his father was aware of his regeneration ability, and as his contractor, Mori knew as well. But, for the rest of the world, he wore bandages to hide the fact no wound ever stayed on his skin. Not even Odasaku knew of that small secret. If Lelouch had been normal, he knew he would have felt guilty about hiding that fact from such a close friend, but years of lying had desensitized him to lying, betrayal, and false trust.

As night fell, Lelouch waited patiently in the shadows of his Father’s private chambers silently as the guards let Mori in. The Port Mafia Boss’ mental health had taken a steep decline a little after Lelouch’s twelfth birthday, and it was with some relish he watched as Mori took one of his scalpels and slit the man’s throat. He simply watched impassively as his accomplice turned to him with a slightly crazed smile.

“The Boss named me his successor as he lay dying in gratitude for all of the help I provided him. You are the witness, Dazai.”

“Fine,” Lelouch shrugged. He knew his word would be as good as law. Considering he was technically the heir. His words carried more weight. As it stood, he would be considered Mori’s heir until he took over. And it would be assumed as such considering he was in the body of a child.

He followed Mori out and watched as the man spun his web of power amidst the decay and rot of Port Mafia. As dawn rose, Lelouch tonelessly backed up Mori’s claims and acted as Mori’s silent shadow. It amused him when he gained the title of Demon Prodigy and laughed at the moniker's irony to the small amused smile of Mori as he watched Lelouch clutch his stomach in mirth. It was at night as he lay sprawled amongst the man’s sheets as the violet eyes man curled around him possessively. The former Emperor skillfully extracted himself from the cloistering embrace as he stood in front of the large window looking out at Yokohama. His eyes turned a menacing muted shade of magenta with the blood-red symbol of geass taking flight as he allowed himself to contact the Collective Unconsciousness.

“It's amusing, is it not Jeremiah? I seem always to be stuck with that title, Demon.” Lelouch blinked his eyes as he stared at the ceiling. “Now Nunnally, no need to be so harsh. Besides, you have yet to tell me how Suzaku is doing.”

He let out a huff as the sweet laughter of his little sister rang in his ears. Closing his eyes, he turned to regard his contractor. The man hadn’t moved, but Lelouch knew he was awake. It didn’t matter to him what the man thought.

“Oh, hush now, witch, Mori is an intriguing man. You enjoy our antics just as much as you enjoyed watching me struggle so long ago.” He cocked his head. “You think he actually has a good chance of fulfilling my wish? You would know, wouldn’t you? Maybe I’ll be able to join you someday.”

Lelouch sighed as he let a fond look linger on his face as he perched delicately on the bed. His fingers carded gently through the man’s dark locks. He was committed to watching how far this man would go to protect Yokohama. He would leave. Eventually, it happened in every life. Eventually, his aging would slow down to a crawl, and he would be left looking decades younger than everyone else. By the time he looked 50, he would have lived for over several hundred years. He crawled back into the bed and let out a dramatic sigh as Mori pulled his body closer. For all the man’s pragmatism, he was extremely selfish and possessive of what he considered his.

“You silly man,” Lelouch murmured chidingly, “I’m not going anywhere, now sleep.” A sleepy huff was his only answer.

* * *

Lelouch sighed as he silently regarded Oda’s corpse. His geass visible to all the world in his right eye. The left a dark red color, thanks to the contact he wore. A bitter smile crossed his lips as he let his mind brush across the others in the World of C. But he didn’t connect with the other man. He didn’t know that Lelouch was Dazai, and Dazai was Lelouch. There had been no need, even as he enjoyed the man’s presence and the warmth he brought into his monotonous and empty existence. He had a choice to make, did he stay with Mori, or did he pull a C.C. and vanish. He hummed as he waited for some of his geassed men to gather OdaSaku’s body for burial preparation. It wasn’t really a choice. He was growing bored in the Mafia, and Mori worked on his next phase of the plan. The Book's existence had been leaked, and Lelouch had relented on what that meant for their contract. He would have to leave.

Their next phase of protecting the Book and making sure that the Collective Unconsciousness remained safe was to make sure that Port Mafia remained essential to Yokohama's stability. Lelouch cursed his carelessness in creating the Book. He never thought there would be someone that had collected enough information about it to utilize it in such a way that it was a miniature Sword of Akasha. It also meant Lelouch needed to leave and expand his network beyond Yokohama, and for that, he couldn’t remain in Port Mafia. Lelouch was amused at the lengths Mori went to fabricate a scenario fitting in which Dazai Osamu would defect from Port Mafia. Of course, only the two knew the whole thing was fake, and his defection was planned. It was shortly after OdaSaku’s funeral that Lelouch saw Mori again.

“Dazai-kun,” Mori greeted with a smile. Amusement lit his eyes as he regarded the immortal. “Should you really be seen here with Kouyou and Hirotsu? I thought you were still planning on defecting?”

Lelouch ignored the sharp inhale and let out a snort as he dropped part of his mask as Dazai. “You know as well as I, we stagged my defection. I thought it would be beneficial to bring the other two as contact points. After all, it would look bad if we were caught exchanging information.” He waved away Mori’s concerns as he stared at the other two in the meeting room. “I am headed off to Russia and then France and Britain. I have heard others thinking of coming to Yokohama besides Mimic, Shibusawa Tatsuhiko, and Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Why didn’t you let me finish off Fyodor at the Dragon Head Conflict?”

“Really, Dazai? You think that by getting rid of one person, the rest of the Decay of Angels and his network would simply crumble?” Mori smiled, a small cruel thing, “you’ll keep me informed, won’t you, Dazai?”

It was rhetorical, and Lelouch cocked his head to the side as he gave a matching smile. He might not be loyal to Port Mafia, but he had a vested interest in making sure Mori stayed alive. As such, Lelouch was willing to act as the man’s accomplice and play his own game. He still wished to die and be reunited with his loved ones in the World of C. But this life was becoming more interesting than he had believed at first. He knew Mori wished to keep him in Port Mafia and tie him there until his natural death as a means to keep Port Mafia strong for years and decades to come. Lelouch was not opposed to the idea. But that didn’t mean he would make it easy for the other man to achieve his goal. After all, Lelouch had made a contract to find a reason to live again or to finally get someone to take his code so he could die.

“Of course,” he smiled, “after all, I can’t have you dying on me. That means I would have to find someone else to fulfill our contract.”

His eyes flicked to the other two in the room, and was pleased to see they seemed to pick up that something larger was going on. Hirotsu regarded Dazai with an unreadable look while Kouyou looked at him like she had never seen him before. He would let Mori deal with them and let him spin whatever tale he wanted to get them to act accordingly. Lelouch gave a mocking bow before spinning on his heels and vanishing into the shadow of Port Mafia. He had two years before the Special Divisions cleared his record, and he could join the ADA. It was so convenient that Ango was an agent of that division. Of course, he had to get to that part of his plan.

He hadn’t told Mori that part about him joining the ADA, and he couldn’t wait to see his face when he appeared amongst the side of light in Yokohama. He could see why C.C. loved to mess with him. It was amusing when he wasn’t on the receiving end. He hummed as he made his way across Yokohama to Bar Lupin. He dropped into his usual spot and stared listlessly at the spot where Oda usually sat. It was bittersweet that the one person who reminded him of Suzaku died believing in the lie that was Dazai Osamu. Or maybe it was that he saw through the mask to what used to be Lelouch vi Britannia. He toyed with the idea of being overly harsh with Ango and spitting his hatred for the other man in a Suzaku style blow out. As amusing as that would be, it wasn’t in character for Dazai, who suffered from a form of Schizoid, Paranoid, and Antisocial Personality Disorder.

“Dazai,” Ango’s voice cut through his thoughts. A small tremor ran through it as he stared at the other with fragile hope.

Lelouch wants to be angry over the part the Ango played in Oda’s death, but he knows that it wasn’t just his fault. It was Mori’s and his fault compounded together. They had needed that special license, and Dazai was just that side of apathetic that while he valued Oda’s company, it didn’t trump his contract with Mori.

“I should kill you for what you did, Ango. But Oda wouldn’t want that.” Lelouch hissed out bitterly.

“What will you do?”

Lelouch hummed, “leave.” He could see the man was close to breaking, he just had to push a little more, and the man would offer that deal he needed to advance his goals.

Ango swallowed. “If you are looking for a way out of the Mafia, I know someone who can help.”

Lelouch let out a bitter laugh. “Ango, you should know. No one ever leaves the Mafia except in a body bag. Besides, this life is all I have ever know.”

“You could be the first,” Ango whispered.

Lelouch regarded the man before him carefully. Of all the humans in this life, he had come to care for, Ango was one of them. He wanted to tell the man everything just to keep that broken look from his face. Lelouch knew what that could do to a man, and yet, he had more important things to care about besides a broken friendship built upon lies and a fake person. He sighed and let out a chuckle of his own. “Fine. But don’t think I forgive you.”

The stage was set, and Lelouch went through the following hours with half an ear as he listened to Ango and his boss Taneda. He already knew it would take two years to clear his record before he could start working with the ADA. He flat out refused to work with the Special Abilities Division, and when the ADA was mentioned, Lelouch made sure to express intrigue and mentioned how it would piss off Mori. He refused to spend two years in a safe house being monitored to ensure he did not lapse into criminal activity. He had too much groundwork to do. As a compromise, he agreed to wear a monitoring bracelet and call in every week to Ango. He would just use his geass to get what he wanted and make the delivery boy kill themselves afterward. After all, he would stay away from criminal activity, but he made no guarantees about his connection staying away. After all, his geass and code allowed for the most secure way of transferring information. Mental connections left no paper or cyber trail.

Lelouch bid the pair farewell under Ango’s worried eyes and Taneda’s piteous stare. Lelouch had slipped away into the night, easily losing his tails with the finesse of years of experience. The safehouse he made his way to was well hidden between Port Mafia and Government territory. Not even Mori knew about this particular hideaway Lelouch had. He made sure of that with him taking on the characteristics of Lelouch vi Britannia rather than Dazai or even Shuuji. Regardless, Lelouch made sure to lead all his tails on a merry chase before doubling back and slipping into a hidden path underground to pick up the emergency kit he had with a wig and colored contacts.

Lelouch sheds his bandages and black coat. They were too recognizable and had to go. It wasn’t the first time he had to create a fake identity. The best part was he had created this identity years ago and made sure to keep it updated. Lelouch Lamperouge was a legal identity that existed since he was six. Shortly after he had awoken in this new world, he had made sure to have a back-up identity in case he had to bolt. It had happened before, and being caught unaware was not on his bucket list. The experimentation had hurt, and the years in isolation had made him seek death more than ever. It was the first time he willingly let himself burn to death to escape the pain.

He piled his black coat and bandages in a pile before dousing it with gasoline and lighting it on fire. Skillfully, Lelouch gathered his hair and slipped on the silky, short black wig. Taking out the small mirror shoved into the bag, Lelouch quickly styled the wig until it fell naturally around his head and face. Once done, he slipped in amethyst colored contacts and shrugged on a tan coat. A small smile quirked his lips as his thoughts drifted to OdaSaku. It was a nice touch, he thought. It pounded home the message to those who knew that he left Port Mafia because Oda was dead. It also sent a coded message to Mori about his cover story without actually getting in contact with the man. They might be accomplices, but that didn’t mean he would make it easy for his contractor. He had to get his amusement from somewhere.

Once the fire had died down, Lelouch made his way down the tunnel and slipped out of the maintenance hole several blocks over and into the night. He took out his phone, crushed the sim card under his heel before snapping his phone in two. Uncaringly, he threw the two pieces into the sewer as he exited the alleyway. A small travel bag was slung over his shoulder as he made his way to the airport. He hummed quietly as he let the persona of Lelouch fall over him. A new phone appeared in his hand as he fired off a short message to Mori’s hidden phone with the city and country he was headed to. Russia seemed like a wonderful place to stay for a year. Perhaps, he would check in on the Order of the Clock Tower in Britain. It had been years since he had been to that area of the world.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, witch,” Lelouch murmured as he fitted a small Bluetooth earpiece into his left ear. “I am simply saying that I am taking a page from your book. Now shoo and give my love to Nunnally and Suzaku. And let Kallen know she is always welcome.”

He absentmindedly flagged down a taxi and told him to take him to Tokyo International Airport. He took out his phone and was pleased to note the string of code from Mori with a list of steps he would like done. He blinked his eyes as a small smile quirked his lips, and a chuckle escaped him. “Well, Suzaku, that was surprisingly astute of you. Learned a thing or two from Nelly?”

He leaned his head back as he let the chatter of his loved one’s thrum in his mind. It was going to be a busy two years. He only hoped Chuuya could forgive him, but there was no way he could be convincing enough to sell the initial reaction to his defection. For him to infiltrate the ADA to keep the Book safe, he had to sell his defection, and that meant keeping Chuuya in the dark. He knew that Kouyou wouldn’t be able to stand her foster brother’s pain at his partner, leaving him behind, and would find a way to hint at the whole thing is a lie. He was counting on it.


	2. Ghosts and Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually shocked this little headcanon of mine took off. I wasn't sure how well this would work out. I must be honest. I never anticipated this being longer than a one-shot. However, seeing as there is a fair bit of interest in this story plot, I will continue the story. 
> 
> I do hope you like the next installment. As a result of this no longer being a single one-off writing, the subsequent chapters will be shorter than the first chapter. 
> 
> Apologies for that.

He could still hear the bang of two gunshots echoing off the steel and concrete walls as he ran down the dark hallway. His footsteps pounded a frantic tempo as he sped down the hall. Lelouch didn't even mind as his breaths came out in shallow puffs of air. Everything seemed to freeze and distort as he ran. His body burned with phantom pain as he pushed his body faster than he remembers ever being able to in the past. Broken and cracked walls seemed to give way to bombed and scorched walls of a Britannia casino. Thick smoke seemed to fill the air, and he could almost taste the acid chemical aftertaste of Sakuradite. 

Lelouch cursed Mori for holding him up. It was a bitter pill to swallow that he failed to see, or perhaps, he didn't care that his contractor's possessiveness and need for manipulation fueled the outcome of this looming tragedy. Belatedly, he tried to figure out why he felt so much fear at the thought of OdaSaku dying. Even the idea of Chuuya's death didn't make his blackened, withered heart clench.

**Fear.**

**Panic.**

_Faster, he had to run faster._ _It wasn't supposed to be like this. It couldn't end like this! They were supposed to_ _escape together. It couldn't end like this!_

"OdaSaku!" The name ripped itself from his throat with a raw scream and tore through the ominous silence. His coat fluttered off his shoulders as he skidded to a stop and dropped to his knees. Lelouch gathered the older man in shaking arms. The warm, slick feeling of blood coated his hand. His eye widened, and he clutched the other man closer with a strangled sob. "Oda, open your eyes! You can't die. Please… don't go where I can't follow."

"Dazai, I'm glad I could talk to you one last time," Oda gasped out. Pain tinged his tone as he stared into the uncomprehending, umber eye of the young man. He looked so broken. "There's something I want to say to you."

Lelouch wanted to scream. To rage–– anything but this numbness that stole his breath and dulled his senses. _This couldn't be happening! Not again_. 

He couldn't breathe. OdaSaku, the man, has started as a passing interest, but somewhere along the way, a pawn that he could make dance. _So why? Why did it hurt so much?_

Flashes of orange hair and hazy sage-green eyes seemed to stare at him OdaSaku's face. A similar scene played out in his mind. A woman spread out in a pool of blood in the middle of the floor. The feeling of blood on his hands as he screamed his anguish to the heavens as his heart broke. A tale of a prince too late to save the Princess. He wanted to change the story—a story where the Prince died, and the Princess lived. 

_"I love you, Lulu."_

"No, you _will_ make it! So, don't talk like that! There's still time. I can save––" Lelouch forced his mind to work, to push past the fog creeping into his mind. 

A large warm hand clutched at the side of his hand, and fingers tangled into his mess of hair and bandages, halting his pleas. The feeling of phantom fingers, slender and just as gentle, lingered on his hand. "Listen!" 

_No matter how many times I'm reborn… I'm sure_ _I'll…fall in love with you again, Lulu…"_

He froze with a sharp gasp. His mind was reeling with a thousand useless plans to save the one piece of light that still existed in his world. _Why hadn't he_ _seen it before?_

"You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live. You won't find it. You should know that. Whether you're on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. you will wander the darkness for eternity." Lelouch felt something shatter in his chest. 

Eyes wide in shock before a wave of grief consumed him, and he looked helplessly at the man dying in his arms. He felt so helpless, hopeless. "What should I do?"

_"This…is fate, right?"_

"Be on the side that saves people," Oda requested. "If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but... saving others is something just a bit wonderful."

 _"So, it's okay, right, Lulu? That I fall in_ _love with you when I'm reborn…no matter…how many times… I'll…fall in…love with_ _you…"_

The warmth slipped away, and Lelouch could do nothing, feel nothing but hollow emptiness as he shoved everything to the back of his mind. He blinked only to be staring blindly at the ceiling of his hotel room with Oda's name lodged in his throat. Dried tear tracks painted his face. A bitter laugh bubbled up from his chest before spilling out into gasping sobs—his fault. OdaSaku's death was his fault. He thought his heart was dead and cold in his chest. It appeared he was wrong. 

It was with a new listlessness and nihilism Lelouch levered himself out of the comfortable bed. Silently, he made his way to the bathroom. With every step, the apathy he had wrapped around himself settled back into his soul. Weeks of the same nightmare gave him practice shaking off

the visages of his guilt-ridden grief. "Call me what you want, C.C. I have always accepted the consequences of my actions and decisions. Unintentional at it might have been. The result was still OdaSaku's death."

With a huff, Lelouch skillfully slipped in his purple-colored contact lenses and spent time corralling his messy dyed black locks into order. With the light-hearted chatter of his Witch and beloved sister whispering in his mind as he got dressed and left his room, the apathetic youth let the last remnants of his memories fade. He gave the hotel staff he passed empty smiles and 'good morning' pleasantries as he left the premises of Hotel Sofitel. 

"A good man, huh. How can I be a good man when it's the ends that justify the means?" Lelouch let out a scoff of disdain, "I've never been a good man. But maybe I can try saving people again. Not that they would care."

He took in the changes of this London compared to the different Londons in his memories. This universe's London was different, but plain compared to the soaring architectural marvels that it could be and was in his life as a Britannia prince. To Lelouch, who had seen millions of versions of London was boring and dull. Even the technology in this current life was simplistic and hardly worth the fascination many humans ascribed. At least the tea was decent. Nothing compared to the bitter taste of coffee, but the Britannian noble in him purred in delight at a well-prepared cup of Earl Gray. If C.C. could have her pizza, he could have his tea.

It was a rare sunny day with few clouds. Lelouch let the sun's warm rays drive away from the chill of the autumn breeze. The light brown coat he had taken to wearing swirled around his feet as he seemed to dance through the crowd. A well-worn red book was open. Elegant fingers flipped through the pages. Absently he hummed a half-forgotten Britannia dirge as he read about how one could die from leaving the gas on in a completely sealed room. He hoped his Chibi liked his gift to him. He spent extra time adding a life-size mannequin with a photo of his face on it. 

"Impressive." A voice called out from behind him. "You haven't aged a day."

Snapping his book closed and pocketing it, Lelouch pirouette with a smiling face standing in a narrow alley. "Well, now, this is a pleasant surprise. How are you, Fyodor?"

"You know, when one of my rats told me a man with black hair and eyes like uncut amethyst was wandering around London, I almost thought they were lying." 

Lelouch tilted his head and huffed as he let his long legs take him to Dostoevsky's side. "And you are far from home, little demon."

"You vanished. I thought the government had captured you." 

Lelouch gazed at the other man with tired eyes. It had been years since he had last seen Fyodor. A previous incarnation of his had seen him spending a decade by the other's side as a child. He had even given him a contract–– a geass. For him, time was not linear. His life and death cycles are inconsistent. He could awaken one life when Rome was all-powerful, and in the next, he would find himself surrounded by flying ships in space and the vast expanse of space his kingdom. For him, it had been hundreds of years since he had last been with Fyodor. 

"I died, Fyodor. In front of hundreds of people. A firing squad tends to do that." Lelouch chided. "So, I left. You didn't need me either. Why should I have stayed? Besides, it wasn't like you were interested in granting my wish anyway." 

"And if I was willing to now? Would you stay?" Fyodor asked. 

Lelouch regarded the child he had he had saved so many years ago. He had been at a low point in his life and desperate for a way to end his life. Fyodor was about to be executed with the rest of his village in Russia. Lelouch had thrown himself in front of the child, shielding him from the hail of bullets that had rained down on them. It wasn't enough to keep the young child from being hit, but it had saved his life and kindled a will to live and darkness in Fyodor. In hindsight, it had probably a bad idea to gift the traumatized child with geass, but he had. A fact he wasn't proud of, but Fyodor had reminded him of a broken Rolo. Unlike C.C., he didn't push Fyodor to manifest his geass to its final stages, cautioning him on the dangers of overuse and its consequences. Lelouch left two years after that. He had already been alive for 300 years and was finally at the end of his cycle. Lelouch had died alone somewhere in the forest of Aokigahara, Japan. He thought nothing of it for years. Fyodor had just been another failed contractor in a long line of candidates.

His laughter was a hysterical cackle. He couldn't help it. When he had last seen Fyodor during the Yokohama Dragon Head Conflict, he had been curious. It amused him how, despite his new cycle, the geass contracts between different incarnations of himself still existed. He could feel anyone with geass or an ability. But those with whom he had personal ties could pinpoint their exact location within 500 kilometers of his position. A skill he neglected to tell Mori about. As a result, he had known the moment Fyodor had entered Yokohama. 

In the name of exploring this new piece of information, Lelouch had let Mori and the Special Abilities Division play their games to further his agenda. Fyodor's reappearance and his current cycle was the first time his timelines overlapped. It was a fascinating discovery that sent a chill of excitement through his mind for days. It had never happened as Fyodor was one of two contractors Lelouch had that were still alive. The rest had either died to their ambitions or at Lelouch's hand.

"The world is a place of bottomless horror, _Zvezda moya_. It is by no means a place of childlike simplicity where a simple then-and-there decision could settle everything. You don't even know my wish, Fyodor." Lelouch chirped with fake cheer.

"You have one wish. To die," Fyodor's smile was gentle. "But you also want to rid the world of the sin of ability users. Isn't that right, L.L.?"

Lelouch froze, stunned momentarily. _Of all his contractors, it had to be this one._

Unbiddenly, a small genuine, sweet smile flashed across his lips. "Even if that is my ultimate goal, it's not possible—a dream of impossibility. I'll settle for death. A clean suicide, without pain and a burden to no one. That's my wish."

"No. You don't have to settle, L.L." Fyodor denied. Geass flared to life in both eyes, "I found a way to create your perfect world. You used to tell me a story as a child. Particularly the story about the Demon Emperor who burned the world to create a purer one for his beloved sibling. I'll succeed like the Demon. I'll destroy this world and create it anew. I'll create a Paradise."

"So, you did get your geass to the final stage," Lelouch breathed. His eyes remained transfixed on Fyodor's eyes. After so long, finally, someone had gotten to the point where they could take his code. "Will you kill me?"

The Russian invaded Lelouch's space as he pinned him against the side of the building. The bricks dug into his back. "I told you I would grant your wish. I'll give you Paradise, free of sin. You won't have to worry about geass or ability users. I'll free you."

Lelouch sagged against the wall as Fyodor's purple eyes bore down on him. He was so close to a permanent death he could taste it. And yet, the one person who could grant it to him denied it. It was like a nightmare wrapped up in a dream. The small flame of hope that had flickered in his chest died violently, smashed to pieces. Fyodor was just one of a thousand regrets, and Lelouch wondered where he had gone wrong. 

"I could believe in hell, but it is impossible for me to believe in the existence of heaven," Lelouch retorted with blank eyes and icy certainty. Heaven was his sweet sister and carefree summers. Heaven was green eyes and hair the color of fire. To him, heaven no longer existed. After all, in every life, he always burned it to the ground. 

"Then, I'll prove you wrong," Fyodor promised. His eyes burned with a fire he remembered seeing in his eyes so many years ago. "I'll become God. Once I create Paradise, I'll take your code so you can finally sleep peacefully. I promise."

Lelouch could only blink in confusion as he stared after Fyodor's retreating figure. "Suzaku, it's not my fault I keep attracting the mentally unstable people! No, that was one time."

Suzaku's amused snort of laughter and Nunally's tinkering giggles echoed through the air, invisible to everyone but him. His eyebrow twitched in agitation as C.C. dryly began to list all the fervently devoted people he seemed to attract from Jeramiah, Rolo, Mao, Kallen, and Shirley, to Mori, Chuuya, Akutagawa, and Fyodor. Sighing dramatically, Lelouch shoved his hands into the pockets and mournfully stared at the spilled cup of tea at his feet. He had dropped it when Fyodor had backed him up into the wall. 

"My tea," Lelouch pouted as he stared pitifully at his fallen drink. Just as quickly, his face took on a pensive look. "Becoming God, why does that sound familiar?" 

* * *

Chuuya stared uncomprehendingly at the cellphone in his hands and the last 23 messages he sent Dazai over two hours. An undrunk glass of beer stood forgotten on the bar counter. The redhead rapidly typed out another message as he drank straight from his bottle of 1989 Petrus wine. His vision blurred as he hit send. He was drunk, and Chuuya knew this. He didn't give a damn. His shitty partner had vanished like smoke on a windy day. He had lost count of the number of wine bottles he had drowned and was beyond inebriated. It didn't matter to him as hazy blue-eyes dulled with grief and betrayal. Tears of frustration spilled down his face as he sent yet another text only to get the same message as the last two dozen.

**Message failed to send. Touch to retry.**

The gravity manipulator squeezed the phone harder as anger churned in his gut mixed with fear. Dazai always answered his phone when Chuuya called. It was a fact. It didn't matter where or what the bandaged idiot was doing. Dazai was his partner of four years. The infamous Soukoku, the crowning jewel of Port Mafia. Chuuya and Dazai knew each other better than anyone else. They trusted each other with their very lives. That had to mean something, right? He refused to believe anything else. This was just an elaborate trick of Dazai's to piss him off. Only another one of his failed suicide attempts. It didn't matter how many times the messy-haired executive tried to kill himself, he never succeeded, and despite his infuriating laziness, he took his missions seriously. He wouldn't attempt suicide until after the mission succeeded.

_So why wasn't he answering?_

He stubbornly refused to believe the younger male had left willingly. Gulping the last of his wine, clumsy gloved hands, he chucked the bottle with as much force as his unenhanced body could manage. It shattered against the wall across from him. The shards sparkled as they caught the dim lights of his kitchen. Gracelessly, Chuuya slumped against the table before blindly selecting Dazai's number from his contacts and pressed the phone to his ear. It went straight to voicemail.

"Damn it, you shitty Mackerel! Pick up your _damn_ phone, you _hear me_!" Chuuya roared. His voice slurred from the amount of alcohol in his system. "I hate you. I hate you _so_ much! Do you think you can just up and vanish on me without a word? Fuck you, you utter waste of bandages! You better tell me where you are, GOD DAMN IT!" By the end, his vision was swimming, and blackness caused black dots to dance in his sight. He trailed off, thick with emotion, as he choked out, "I'll fucking kill you. Fuck it. I'll drag your lazy ass back myself because…because I miss you. Damn it…I miss our shitty arguments and fights. I miss you. So please, come back." Chuuya hit the end button and let his phone slip between limp fingers, clattering to the floor. Tears streamed down his face as he let the darkness consume him. 

When morning came, Chuuya ordered one of his men to bring his car around. He was going to ask Mori for a break to go hunt down his wayward partner. It never happened as an explosion rocked his penthouse. Thick billows of smoke and fire-colored the sky as his car became nothing more than a twisted pile of metal and wire. Kouyou found him surrounded by empty wine bottles and staring out the large bay window of his penthouse, watching the plums of black smoke from his bombed-out car rise into the air. Her red-eyes were sad as she regarded the child she saw as her brother. Perfectly painted lips thinned to a line, conflicted regarding the gag order Mori had issued to her and Hirotsu regarding Dazai's defection. But looking at the lost expression on the young man's pale face made something twinge painfully in her chest.

"Chuuya-kun," she said softly.

"Is he dead, Ane-san?" Chuuya's question held a lost quality to it.

The woman turned her head to find his hat lying discarded at her feet. Gently she picked it up and froze as she stared at the small addition sewn on the inside of the hat, hidden from the rest of the world in vibrant blue thread was embroidered the words _My Dearest, Hat Rack._ Perhaps, just this once, it would be acceptable to disobey the Boss. If this continued, there was a chance Chuuya would continue to search for Dazai, and they would lose him to the same lies crafted to protect Yokohama. 

"No, Dazai's not dead. He's in London." She said and hardened her resolve. She would tell him the truth. Flashes of a melancholy smile and eyes too old for the young face they peered from flashed in her mind. Kouyou could almost feel the warmth of a child Dazai's hand touching her hand as he watched the falling winter snow.

_"Do you know why snow is white, Kouyou-ane-san?"_

Fierce eyes rounded on her as the distraught redhead hissed, "What?"

With a gentleness usually absent from her voice, Kouyou soothed, "Chuuya. Dazai didn't defect. The truth is he is on a classified mission for the Boss. Everyone but Hirotsu, You, Me, and the Boss know his disappearance is fake. To the rest of the world, Dazai abandoned Port Mafia and is a traitor."

"And why wasn't I told? He's my partner!" Chuuya seethed. "So, when can we expect him back?"

Kouyou could tell it was fake as the tension eased from his shoulders, and there seemed to be a new calm around him. It pained her to vocalize what she said next. "He's not coming back. If all goes well, we might see him again in a couple of years."

Blue-eyes were blown wide in shock, and he gaped at the older woman. His mind whirled as he struggled to wade through what he knew and throw off the last of his alcohol-induced confusion. He glanced briefly out the window and the dying trail of smoke from where his car had blown up. A smirk curled the corners of his lips as amusement slowly began to replace the desolation that had overtaken him yesterday. 

"I get it," he laughed out as life seemed to return to his face. "Oi, Ane-san? Do you know why snow is white?"

"What?" Kouyou stared in shock at the grinning male. 

_"Snow is white because it's forgotten what color it's supposed to be."_

Chuuya's smile widened, "it's because it can't remember what color it should be. If the shitty Mackerel doesn't want me to forget him, I'll just have to plan a reunion that's just as explosive."

The Port Mafia Executive couldn't help but quirk her lips in a hopeless smile. Chuuya would be okay. She couldn't fathom the relationship that lay between the Boss and Dazai, but she could care less. Kouyou remembered a broken boy who resembled a doll more than a human with blank eyes and an empty smile. She found herself lost in the haunting gaze of Dazai when she first met him, the hidden treasure of the former Port Mafia Boss.

It was a relief to her when Mori came into Dazai's life, and he suddenly seemed to come to life. Less doll-like and more like a puppet, but it was better than the husk of a child she had come to know. It was one reason why the red-haired assassin supported Mori and his claims of Boss. She let a small grin flicker on her face as she regarded Chuuya fondly. When this boy had first come into her life, calling her Ane-san and eliciting more emotions and lively expressions and emotion from Dazai than all the years she knew him, she knew he was hers. She and Hirotsu might have failed to help Dazai, but Chuuya and Mori did what they were unable to do, and for her, supporting the both of them and in their goals was the least they could do to repay them. 


End file.
